Intent vs. Impact

When Good Intentions Aren’t Enough—Lessons on Leadership, Communication & Impact

I used to believe that if my intentions were good, my message would be received the way I meant it. But over the years—through leadership, coaching, and plenty of my own mistakes—I’ve learned that intent alone isn’t enough.

There have been times when I thought I was being clear, supportive, or encouraging, only to realize later that my words landed very differently than I intended.
🔹 A piece of feedback meant to empower left someone feeling discouraged.
🔹 A direct response, meant to be efficient, felt dismissive.
🔹 A well-meaning joke missed the mark.

That’s the thing about intent vs. impact—we don’t get to decide how our words and actions make others feel. We can only take responsibility for them.

What Happens When Intent and Impact Don’t Align?

As leaders, communicators, and team members, we often assume our good intentions are enough. But the reality is that our impact is what truly matters.

💡 A leader pushing a team member to stretch their skills might intend to be supportive—but if it comes across as pressure, the impact is stress and self-doubt.

💡 A casual remark meant to lighten the mood might unintentionally alienate someone.

💡 A decision meant to be fair and strategic might leave people feeling unheard.

It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being aware and the willingness to bring humility.

How I’m Learning to Bridge the Gap

What I’ve found most helpful when I notice (or someone points out) a gap between my intent and impact:

👂 Pause and listen. Instead of jumping to defend my intent, I ask, “Say more. What did you hear?”

🤝 Own the impact. A kind “I can see how that landed differently than I meant it” goes a long way.

🙏 Say thank you & apologize. Yes, that’s right. Bringing humanity to each moment is key. A response like, “Thank you for telling me. I appreciate your honesty, and I’m sorry for the impact this had on you,” is HUGE for building trust.

🎯 Adapt my approach. If a message isn’t landing the way I want, it’s on me to adjust.

🗣️ Foster open dialogue. Encouraging a culture where people can speak up about these moments helps everyone get better at communication.

Why This Matters

Leadership, at its core, is about relationships. And relationships thrive when people feel heard, respected, and understood.

We certainly can’t make everyone happy. But we can listen without defending, and we can be honest with care.

Recognizing the gap between intent and impact has made me a better leader, communicator, and coach. It’s a work in progress, but one worth committing to.